found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
