I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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