people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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