Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
