D3 body, D1 cock
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
