Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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