I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize