I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
