he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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