i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
