hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
