I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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