I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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