I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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