she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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