I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
