Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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