I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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