So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
