Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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