Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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