She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize