I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i think my cat just said my name.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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