Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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