just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
