omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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