Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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