its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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