So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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