sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
