So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
