You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
