Fuck appropriateness.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
