If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
