It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
