just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Watching her eat just hurts me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
