There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
