I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
