worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
