My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
