She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
cat food counts as protein by the way
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
