So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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