omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
