just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
