I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
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i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.