I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
