And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
