I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
