I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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