Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
