Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
