it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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