I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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