I should be sponsored by Trojan
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize