Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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