the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
ok first of all what the fuck
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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