I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
