I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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