Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
