Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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