Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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