Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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